Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

The week after school starts is a lot like the week before school starts, only without hordes of customers invading your store, pillaging the stock and making a general mess of anything that even remotely looks clean. I really do think customers in general feel threatened by a tidy store, probably because it looks cleaner than their place, and they must reassert their dominance in society by destroying this threat. Or they just don't give a damn about flinging stuffing paper across the entire store as they messily dissect a display backpak.

Of course, it amuses me to no end in a slightly sadistic "jail is the only reason I haven't ripped your eyebrows off" way how, when we fetch an unstuffed backpak that was on the same rack right in behind the display one, customers will exclaim, "I didn't even see that!" This does garner some consternation from me, though, since I have to wonder what other sort of stores they shop at--wherein those stores have deliberately mixed up the display pieces and their racks of corresponding "non-display" stock.

Clearly I'm unenlightened and have been shopping at all the wrong places.

Then again, sometimes I'm pretty darned sure it's just the customers, not me. Take, for instance, an example from a few days ago. I've got an armload of backpaks for restocking our shelves (with them being neatly lined up in behind their corresponding display models, as we are of course an unenlightened store), and happen to chance upon a trio of preteen girls who have attempted to dress like sexy, vamped-up seventeen year-olds and failed spectacularly at it.

As these prepubescent teens stroll by, one remarks in a loud, caustic voice, "I'd shop at Bentley! They're pimpin'!" Given the subsequent look on her face as I strolled in behind them with an armload of backpaks, I don't think she realized a store employee was quite so close to hear the snark. But I smiled politely, and desperately wished I didn't work at the store, since the immediate retort that came to mind was, "Well, it's just as well, considering you're dressed like a slut."

One day, perhaps.

Which does make me wonder if, on my last day in retail when I've secured another job beyond a shadow of a doubt, all the venom and contempt for customer stupidity will loose itself on the unsuspecting gits. There have been debates in the past. Should I act flamboyantly fabulous? Should I wait for someone with a significant chip on their shoulder, and go at their psyche with a verbal icepick? Or will I zip myself into a suitcase and scare the bejezus out of any hapless child who passes by? Time may yet tell.

And if you still think you're feeling lucky today, Today's Asking Asshats comes to a grand total of: 4 (with one of them being heard over the phone while I checked in with another store about something.)
posted by Phillip at 4:39 PM

 


http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=24380

The world has lost an Aussie who loved nature, wanted everyone else to have the same passion and respect for nature as he did, and was more than a little out of his mind in the coolest way possible.

Rest in peace, Steve Irwin.
posted by Phillip at 10:19 AM